Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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