She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
