Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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