So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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