So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
