Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
