So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
