my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
