So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
