I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
