Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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