my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
