I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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