Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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