so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize