U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize