I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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