I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
