So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
