if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
