I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
