I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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