Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize