In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize