Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
