you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
