like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it hurts more in the daytime
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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