Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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