i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
bring money and cleavage
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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