It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
