Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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