oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
