i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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