Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
