in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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