For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
