so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
