Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
