she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
