So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
