i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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