maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
