so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
