So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
