I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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