is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
