my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm having to shit out rocks
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
