i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize