Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize