It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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