i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
