no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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