Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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