Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
