If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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