capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
