Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
