Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
