Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
