what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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