Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize