There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
