that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
